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Hey Boy...
Feb. 27th, 2009 | 05:49 pm
So, I haven't written in here in a few days. Oh,well. Haven't missed much. Tuesday I go to take my G.E.D. test. I realized today how Dumb I am. I've been studying for like 2 hours and when it comes to math, I am still clueless.
:/
I finally got a cellphone. Thank God. I love it to death. It cost me a lot though.
Hm, Matt and I are decided to move in together this fall. We are getting our own cozy little home. :)
I also broke down and decided to go to college. I've decided my career.
I'm going to be a nurse. I am really serious about it too.
It's what I really want and I'm going to work hard to get it.
So, that's the latest in my life.
:)
:/
I finally got a cellphone. Thank God. I love it to death. It cost me a lot though.
Hm, Matt and I are decided to move in together this fall. We are getting our own cozy little home. :)
I also broke down and decided to go to college. I've decided my career.
I'm going to be a nurse. I am really serious about it too.
It's what I really want and I'm going to work hard to get it.
So, that's the latest in my life.
:)
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Save your breath and get down with me.
Feb. 21st, 2009 | 12:58 pm
mood: 
drained
Well, I have work soon. Which sucks terribly. I don't feel like dealing with people today :(
Oh well, I have a long day ahead of me. Tonight, hopefully I will get some R&R with Matt.
I don't really have much to say....
bye.
Oh well, I have a long day ahead of me. Tonight, hopefully I will get some R&R with Matt.
I don't really have much to say....
bye.
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But I've changed...it's comforting.
Feb. 20th, 2009 | 12:30 am
mood: 
awake
So, like I was saying..the bad/crazy mood has passed me by. I'm back to being happy. :)
It's weird to think this, but all it really took was some time spent with Matt.
I have never had someone mean this much to me. No one. I love it. I love him. I love every minute spent by his side.
I'd really be a lost cause without him.
Work tonight went okay. Kinda slow. Got paid.:)
But, I'm not really tired which is terrible because i need to get up super early.
I think I'm going to finish talking to my love and then force some sleep into me. :)
Night.
It's weird to think this, but all it really took was some time spent with Matt.
I have never had someone mean this much to me. No one. I love it. I love him. I love every minute spent by his side.
I'd really be a lost cause without him.
Work tonight went okay. Kinda slow. Got paid.:)
But, I'm not really tired which is terrible because i need to get up super early.
I think I'm going to finish talking to my love and then force some sleep into me. :)
Night.
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The cautious steps we're taking can't take us anywhere.
Feb. 19th, 2009 | 02:31 pm
mood: 
curious
I really wanted to keep this to like a once daily thing, but my mind is so unsettled. I really feel like an emotional wreck.
I don't know what my deal is.
Maybe me being bored is causing irrational thoughts. Or maybe I'm crazy?
I don't know where I am going with this.
I really just want something to.
Something that will satisfy me. Which there has been a lack there of.
Oh, here is a thought!
I'm tired of living by generic labels. Sticky little typical labels. I think I am far too complex to be stuck in one group. Like the label "happy". Or, well that's more or less a mood. Okay, bad example. Hm.. how about the label...oh! The teen label. Technically I am some form of a teen, but why should my thoughts and outlooks be limited by it?
Why am i still restricted from things based on my age?
(No, I'm not talking about being old enough to buy cigarettes or alcohol.)
Who's honestly to say when I am old enough to smoke or old enough to make my own choices?
I don't think anyone knows me better than myself.
Though, to be completely fair, I do see how I have matured since I was oh, say 14?
I'm nowhere near the same person I was then. So, I mean at that age, yes it was good to have restriction.
But, I'm more talking about the restriction that still dwells as an 18 year old "adult".
(That's the right term, right? Adult.)
I don't know I'm kind of just ranting on.
I don't know what my deal is.
Maybe me being bored is causing irrational thoughts. Or maybe I'm crazy?
I don't know where I am going with this.
I really just want something to.
Something that will satisfy me. Which there has been a lack there of.
Oh, here is a thought!
I'm tired of living by generic labels. Sticky little typical labels. I think I am far too complex to be stuck in one group. Like the label "happy". Or, well that's more or less a mood. Okay, bad example. Hm.. how about the label...oh! The teen label. Technically I am some form of a teen, but why should my thoughts and outlooks be limited by it?
Why am i still restricted from things based on my age?
(No, I'm not talking about being old enough to buy cigarettes or alcohol.)
Who's honestly to say when I am old enough to smoke or old enough to make my own choices?
I don't think anyone knows me better than myself.
Though, to be completely fair, I do see how I have matured since I was oh, say 14?
I'm nowhere near the same person I was then. So, I mean at that age, yes it was good to have restriction.
But, I'm more talking about the restriction that still dwells as an 18 year old "adult".
(That's the right term, right? Adult.)
I don't know I'm kind of just ranting on.
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I've made mistakes. They keep me company. Oh, man, what's up with me?
Feb. 19th, 2009 | 11:55 am
mood: 
calm
music: Boys Night Out
Well, this is really my first entry. I haven't done anything like this is such a long time, but I feel like it's a good time to start. I just turned 18 and I'm starting a new chapter in life. Forget the past..it was mostly all bullshit anyways.
Okay, so let me start out by updating you on my life.
I have a job. I work a lot. Well, not a lot a lot, but enough. I also have a great boyfriend. His name is Matt, and I'm in love with him. I don't care what your thoughts on that are, because I know what I feel. What I have with him is not like any relationship I have had before. It's as perfect as it gets. As for school, well I'm currently not enrolled anywhere but I think I'm going to start an online high school course. I'm close to graduating anyways.
I don't really want to tell you anything more about myself. You can find out on your own. :)
Now, on to my actual entry....
So, last night I kind of lost my head. I've been feeling really insecure lately. I know that insecurity is going to be my end. It fucks with me so bad. And, it's not as though I have some legit reason to act that way. I mean, honestly how can someone beat themselves up so bad? I should not have anything to complain about. But, yet I find reason. Hm, emotions are a bitch sometimes. I don't know. I kinda just pushed it all to the back of my mind and slept it off.
Today it looks bleak outside. I get paid and I have to work. But, the good news...I WORK WITH MATT tonight.
That always makes it better.:) I guess I will write more later. Im off to eat breakfast and listen to Boys Night Out.<3
Okay, so let me start out by updating you on my life.
I have a job. I work a lot. Well, not a lot a lot, but enough. I also have a great boyfriend. His name is Matt, and I'm in love with him. I don't care what your thoughts on that are, because I know what I feel. What I have with him is not like any relationship I have had before. It's as perfect as it gets. As for school, well I'm currently not enrolled anywhere but I think I'm going to start an online high school course. I'm close to graduating anyways.
I don't really want to tell you anything more about myself. You can find out on your own. :)
Now, on to my actual entry....
So, last night I kind of lost my head. I've been feeling really insecure lately. I know that insecurity is going to be my end. It fucks with me so bad. And, it's not as though I have some legit reason to act that way. I mean, honestly how can someone beat themselves up so bad? I should not have anything to complain about. But, yet I find reason. Hm, emotions are a bitch sometimes. I don't know. I kinda just pushed it all to the back of my mind and slept it off.
Today it looks bleak outside. I get paid and I have to work. But, the good news...I WORK WITH MATT tonight.
That always makes it better.:) I guess I will write more later. Im off to eat breakfast and listen to Boys Night Out.<3
